March 1, 2008

• REFLECTIONS

                 photography by Virginia  

  This photo was taken at a beaver pond in the Grand Tetons, showing the reflection of the Tetons and the trees surrounding the pond.

  As I sat in the quietness of this morning, I thought back ......... One of the symptoms of PLS, Your emotions go flat. You laugh and cry easily, you have no energy, etc. How can emotions go flat when you laugh and cry? Aren't laughing and crying an emotion?  Crying; I think I cried everyday during the month of December. when I thought about Christmas of past, present and future. In the past when the children were home, how I looked forward to Christmas, to see the children's eyes sparkle as they would open their gifts. The excitment of Christmas caroling to the nieghbors. The day came when there was no money for Christmas.  The neighbor lady had just cleaned out her toy box to make more room for toys, because Christmas was just around the corner.  Since I had the most children around it was only natural to call me to see if I could use the old toys. When I thanked her, I mentioned the fact that since my husband had been off work, these toys would be the children's Christmas and I was very gratful for them.  Even then, I was enthused about Christmas and excited to be able to give the children gifts.  (That was the year the fire truck came and brought us food for Christmas dinner and presents for the children.) ( I might borrow the story from Mrs, Darling if she'll let me.) After the children got married I would look forward to Christmas.  Then all the children and grandchildren would come home.  I'd watch them one by one as they came in the lane, unload, and come up the walk. Their suitcases that said "Going to Grandma's."  Excitement was in the air! Each Christmas was better than the last.

   the present Christmas:  We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, most of us in a house at the beach.  Then Christmas came and for some reason, I cried.  Even though I felt selfish doing it, I cried. My son and his wife came over and we had Christmas at my daughter's house. We had a very good Christmas. (As I write this I feel more guilty than ever)

  I scolded myself many times, "I should be thankful, we were just together for Thanksgiving, none of the children were hungry, they all had warm houses, the Lord was good." Anyhow, I was lonesome and I cried.

  The Christmas future:  What will the future bring, only my Father knows and I'm so glad He does.

  I wonder often why I don't get excited like I used to, as

  we pass a mountain, I used to about jump out of the car it was so breathtakingly beautiful. and I couldn't wait to take a photo of the awesome greatness of creation, the same with waterfalls or any of God's creation. I wonder why I don't feel that way anymore? I could go on with my many questions.  But that's not the point..............This morning as I was "lurking" the blog world, ( I read your blogs more often than you think) Anyhow this morning I ran across a devotional blog, the more I read the more I wanted to read.  Tucked among the words of that blog was this verse in Isaiah 55:12 niv

  I've read it many times before and it had thrilled me in the past, but this morning it was like reading it for the first time.  

  Isaiah 55:12 niv "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands."  (Hmmm, that was the way it used to be) it had a cross reference: Psalm 98:8 niv "Let the rivers clap their hands, let the mountain sing together for joy; " 

      It was then I could sing for joy and my heart was filled with excitement.  I went in the living room and looked at the collage on my wall, 8 pictures of Lost Lake and Mt. Hood, I reflected back,  how we stood in wonder as we seen the evening light settle on the mountain. I looked at the 5 pictures of waterfalls and remembered how I would thrill as I watched the water tumble over the cliff above and thunder into the pool below.  I smiled, and thought how blessed I am.  I could then look forward to the day with Joy!  My God is so good and I am so blessed.

              photography by Virginia

  This picture was taken from the bottom of Leslie Gulch, of the Owyhee river and the early morning reflection of the mountains that surround it.

   

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